Kids are one of those things in your life where you love em and then you have the moments where you think you will lose your mind. They have their own agenda and then you have yours...typically on polar opposite ends of the spectrum.
Body. Wow. This past year I have thought "Why does my body hate me?" one too many times. I don't think I have written about this since my "Hooray for being girl?" post. I was originally diagnosed as having post-pardem thyroiditis, but after further tests the doctor found out I had Hoshimotos disease. It is an auto-immune disorder of the thyroid where your body basically is at "war" with your thyroid. Eventually I won't have a thyroid at all. It is crazy to think that that your own body is always "at war". Along with my doc we still have not found the right dosage for me because the dosage I need is not available, so I'm either too high or I'm too low. I never knew how important your thyroid was until mine wasn't working like it should. I know I'm not alone in that and I also know that I am so blessed that I do not have a life threatening disorder, but things have been a lot harder than normal.
I say all that to say this.....How easy is it to just give up when you have those days that just seem crushing? Lord knows there have been many days where I just wanted to ignore all responsibilities, curl up, cry, and watch Gilmore Girls just to retreat from my own life for a little bit. I also know, again, I'm not alone.
But do we, just give up? Immaturity tells us we can. Self-centeredness tells us we can. The Godless world tells us we can. But, no, we don't. Nor should we.
After stepping back a second and taking a look at your current state, what you consider crushing, you realize giving up won't solve anything. You will only let yourself down and let down those closest to you.
I am, however, a BIG proponent for taking a break every once and a while to rejuvenate, and well, regain sanity :) You have too. It makes you a better parent, wife/husband, and friend.
I say all that to say this (for myself more than anything): don't give up. You are worth more than how you currently feel, your family and friends are worth more to you than that.
God has not given up on you. Jesus gave his life for you because you ARE worth THAT much to Him.
Yes, we have our days. I believe it is okay to be upset, but don't let yourself stay there. It is debilitating. Try to take a second, step back, regain perspective, and take a break if you can, THEN keep pressing on.